Tonight was nothing out of the ordinary- I did make a fabulous dinner which is well, pretty ordinary. After cleaning the downstairs quickly, Hallie and I went upstairs to entertain ourselves while Jer held the Elder's qurm meeting in the family room. We played a new game Jer picked up for Hallie, some Angelina the Ballerina ballet/candy land type game. As we were playing, I looked over at Hals and she looked so incredibly beautiful. Her hair was completely out of place from the rain today, and she was wearing a pink tutu outfit (of course) that was new. She was so happy, but that is normal for her in the evenings. (Not to say during the day it's different, but she is so darn cute in the evenings its so hard to put her to bed.) I just couldn't help but stare at this beautiful little girl that I am desperately in love with. So sweet, and happy. I want to remember these moments, because I know they do not last forever. I know there will be days where she thinks I am a terrible mother, or she won't understand why I won't let her do something; because I love her.
I don't want her to grow up right now. I am her main influence, and I love it when she throws herself in my arms after spending a few hours at Kindergarten. She listens so well, and I know that is going to change. I love that she is so loved by so many people- I guess the only way to put it is that she is a charmer, without trying. Yesterday Hallie did not want to go to kindergarten, and cried for me to stay and play with her. She was over tired (short nap the day before) and asked "just to go take a nap!" (totally not like her). Today was a better experience dropping her off, after bribing her with renting a new barbie movie-if she stayed at kindergarten. I waited for a moment and watched her to see how she interacts with the German kids, and after a moment she looked back and had the biggest smile on her face, because I was still there. I held up the I Love You sign, and she did it back. We connected for a moment, and it just melted my heart.
We do have many moments like this, and I don't want to forget them. There are days where she blows me away, and I wonder if her sweet spirit is older and wiser than mine. I feel so blessed to be her mother. My life has never been better since she has come into it. I do admit it was hard to think about getting pregnant again, in fear of not loving the second as much as my Hallie. I am grateful for the time I was/am able to spend with her, before having another. I want her to remember how much fun we have together: we play games, paint fingernails, play dress up, she puts on shows (which are absolutely adorable) and love to read together, snuggling of course! I love to read stories to her while she is in the bath, and make science experiments, even if she can't remember them.We craft and bake, which is one of her favorites. Can you tell now why I am nervous about having a boy? And I really need to be better about writing down the cutest things she says all the time- it would be so fun to look back on. {new goal} She recently has been "doing my hair" to get out of nap time, but how can I say no to that!? As I look at my toes with purple-sparkle nail polish all over them, painted by my one and only, I thank the Lord for this sweet spirit he has blessed me with.
(First day of [German] Kindergarten, September 3, 2012)
1 comment:
Cutest post ever! What a lucky kid... You'll like having a boy too, they do the cutest things, just different. They love animals and bugs and dirt and it is completely charming in a little man way.
Holy cow those Germans start school early. Macey was supposed to start this fall but I"m waiting a year because I just can't send her yet.
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